ZEUS WAKES UP, SEES HECTOR BLEEDING ON THE FLOOR AND SHOUTS AT HERA FOR BEING EVIL. SHE IS. SHE’S FUCKING EVIL.
AND THEN THE GODS HAVE A FUCKING MASSIVE ARGUMENT. AGAIN. THE RESULT OF THIS IS THAT APOLLO COMES DOWN TO THE BATTLEFIELD AND TELLS HECTOR TO MAN THE FUCK UP AND GO AND KILL SOME GREEKS.
HECTOR MANS THE FUCK UP AND GOES AND KILLS SOME GREEKS. A LOT OF GREEKS. HE’S ON FUCKING FIRE. LITERALLY.
THE ARMIES MARCH AT EACH OTHER FOR A BIT, AND THEN THEY STOP TO MAKE PLANS.
HECTOR, PARIS’ BROTHER AND PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY CHARACTER WITH ANY SENSE, TELLS HIM HE’S A DICK (HE IS) AND THAT LIFE WOULD BE EASIER AND LESS SHITTY IF HE WAS DEAD (IT WOULD BE).
PARIS RESPONDS WITH “NO FUCK OFF I’M TOO SEXY TO MAKE FUN OF”. WE TOLD YOU HE WAS A DICK.
THEN HE ARRANGES A DUEL WITH MENELAUS, BECAUSE STEALING HIS WIFE WASN’T ENOUGH AND NOW HE WANTS TO KILL HIM TOO. THEY HAVE A BIT OF A FIGHT. IT’S SHIT.THEY KEEP MISSING. THEN MENELAUS GRABS PARIS BY THE HELMET AND STARTS SWINGING HIM ROUND AND ROUND HIS HEAD, WHICH STARTS STRANGLING PARIS. EVERYTHING WOULD BE A LOT LESS SHIT IF HE SUCCEEDED, BUT OF COURSE HE DOESN’T. THAT WOULD BE TOO FUCKING STRAIGHTFORWARD, AND THAT’S NOT HOW THE GODS WORK.
APHRODITE MAKES PARIS INVISIBLE AND THE TWO OF THEM FUCK OFF BACK TO TROY, LEAVING MENELAUS STANDING THERE WITH AN EMPTY HELMET LIKE THE CONFUSED MOTHERFUCKER HE IS.
THEN APHRODITE DUMPS PARIS IN HIS BEDROOM, WHERE HELEN TELLS HIM SHE WISHES HE WAS DEAD. BUT THEN THEY HAVE SEX SO IT’S NOT ALL BAD.
Herbert James Draper - Ulysses and the sirens, 1909
This is supposed to happen the first time Persephone is back to the Underworld….so I went and made a sequel for a comic that hasn’t even happened yet. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey….
Did I regret anything? No. No I don’t.
He kidnapped her
Against her will
Thanks fo her father after her father raped her
She starved herself to get out of his place
where do people read romance into this, where??ßß1ßewkofp *flops over*
Thanks for continue to focus on the kidnapping part which is not the point of this myth.
Life and Death, the balance between them and the changes they cause, and the origin and meaning of the seasons cycle, on the other hand, are the real points.
Thanks for also persisting in the idea of Persephone as a passive figure. Kidnapped, raped, silenced, with no saying or power over anything (except for maybe starved herself because there are so many different versions of this myth that it’s difficult to keep track of them, did you know that apparently there is a version where she and Hades plot together?)
Thanks for also forgetting that she’s a goddess on her own and becomes Queen and Hades’ equal and actually they’re most stable marriages in the myths.
Thank you, you’ve enriched this post by telling me things I already know but I don’t care about. (◡‿◡✿)
Reblogging for the bitchin’ commentary and also to add that if anyone wants to read the most current (and IMO accurate) studies on Greek mythology and women’s lives, Women in Greek Myth by Dr. Mary Lefkowitz is invaluable (and incredibly inexpensive for an academic book).
The confusion comes from “Zeus” which is almost a title for a supreme god (think of the way “Caesar” was used). So you have Heavenly Zeus and Infernal Zeus, and they are not the same god but rather the supreme ruler of the sky and underworld, respectively. Likewise Persephone became known as “Infernal Hera” and this naming scheme persisted well into the Roman Empire, where Pluto and Proserpina are referred to as “Infernal Juno” and “Jupiter of Dis” in Book 6 of the Aeneid as well as on many grave monuments and in spells.
Moreover, gods don’t need to eat. Persephone refusing to eat was her refusing to become a part of the Underworld, not her attempting to starve herself. The gods are defined as being deathless, and in Ancient Greek “deathless” is synonymous with “god”. (Cf. Theogony, Works and Days, any of the Homeric Hymns, etc.) The Homeric Hymn to Demeter is really clear about this. (HH 2 370-4, 393-403.)
The marriage of Persephone and Hades is actually the most loving and consensual union among the Olympian deities. Hades first offers a dowry designed specifically to please Persephone (HH 2 10-14.), then carries her off and keeps her as a guest of honour in his house. (HH 2 341-345) Persephone is referred to as αἰδοίῃ παρακοίτι - his reverent wife. “Reverent” here refers to a respect for one’s duty, and the similarity between the pronunciation of αἰδοῖος an “Hades” is deliberate and intended to show how well-matched they are. Persephone misses her mother, yes, but is not overly upset about her marriage to Hades. Even Anchises expresses more regret over his union with Aphrodite. (HH 5 185-190.) Finally, as a proper parent, Demeter is rewarded for giving up her daughter, and offers a gift to the other gods in turn. (HH 2 441-495.)
It is worth noting that Demeter is given a position of remarkable power in this myth and is in many ways treated as or better than a father would be. The focus of the hymn remains the relationship between mother and daughter, and emphasises that it is a bond that can endure even after a woman leaves to marry. More importantly, the Homeric Hymn to Demeter is an etiological myth for the Thesmophoria and the Eleusinian Mysteries, a woman-only festival and the most enduring mystery cult of the ancient world. HH 2 serves to anchor women firmly in religious and family life and sets some fairly idealised standards for husbands. Many issues arise when attempting to interpret this myth into a modern context, which is why it is so important to understand that the myth was created over three thousand years ago and is largely a historical document reflecting the mores of the time.
Ermergerd, stawp it!
Achilles departing, the Nereid Kymothea holding a phiale and an oinochoe (all named). Detail, side B from an Attic red-figure kantharos. Ancient Greek, dates to between circa 450 and circa 400 BC, originally discovered in Vulci, Italy.
NO WAIT FUCK
Now I’m seeing all these similarities between the Iliad and Robert’s Rebellion—one side gets completely crushed to a pulp and the other one everyone either dies in the war or dies after the war or spends ages wandering around in the middle of the ocean (well maybe that’s just Odysseus)
the war finally ends when someone uses subterfuge to get in the gates and then kills everybody
AND THE OLD KING GETS KILLED IN THE TEMPLE/THRONE ROOM BY AN INEXPERIENCED YOUNG WARRIOR
except Priam is hella more sympathetic than Aerys
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE
And then Agamemnon/Robert gets home and after generally being a dick and a half to everybody and finally gets stabbed by his wife/killed off by his wife’s machinations (So Clytemnestra/Cersei, y’all)
DOES THIS MAKE DAENERYS AENEAS? Does that imply she’ll never return to Westeros, but will stay in (that other island place) and keep building her empire there??? Or am I taking this too far?
|—||Homer, the Illiad (via schizowhatnow)|